It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize