Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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