I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
