A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just sent this text using only my big toe
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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