The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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