Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
