i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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