She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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