don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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