So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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