I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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