She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
