Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I still have a little drunk in my system
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
