We're like a lot better than the average bears
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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