You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
