And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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