Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
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