Apparently you make a good broom.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
