sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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