the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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