Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you didnt know i had herpes?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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