Did you just see the Batmobile???
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My feet surprised me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize