Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
