It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
