They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
