Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
