You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
