I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
