Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
