God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
