All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
