okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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