If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
