I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
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