i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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