Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Small penises have feelings too.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
