Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize