like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
