you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
