we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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