Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Randomize
