I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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