He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
