totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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