Umm I'm too high to move.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
