my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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