Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
