Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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