I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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