a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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