So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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