Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize