fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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