Princesses don't give blow jobs
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
dude. I can hear the air.
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