Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
