he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
