I hate all girls vehemently.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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