he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
