I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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