On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
