Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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