what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
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