1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
